The disappearance of gaybars seems to be a cultural problem
Gaybars disappear often, but not for obvious reasons. The disappearance of gay bars and clubs is an unfortunate side effect of a much more different reason than we expect.
"We are queer and that makes us a big family", but that's the end of this fairy tale.
Places in which gay men and women can gather smoothly ,have existed for centuries in various shapes and forms. In many neighborhoods, gays and lesbians had their own restaurants, bookstores, newspapers, and of course bars and saunas. For many gays, the experience of entering a gaybar for the first time,was a nervous discovery, where they can find and accept their own identity , like generations of gays found their boyfriend in their bar .
But now ,there is a sharp personality of the lack of cruelty that exists within the broader homosexual culture.
The first is the entrance. Often we hear notifications where guests are denied access by a staff member who indicated that the bar is full of capacity , while another employee could enter it and see it as dead and empty as possible. Now refusing is possible for drunk and aggressive guests, minors and poorly dressed guests, but sometimes they go too far. Do we not have the rainbow flag of tolerance?
Now not only the employees that give a problem, but also the guests. How the discrimination and humiliation goes through in the bar and dark spaces. Are we tolerant enough?
So there is no reason not to visit a gaybar. Let other guests sit in their own self and drink yourself one more .
Perhaps you do not find your date for the evening, but you are surrounded by like-minded people and give your personality an identity. Something that is hard to find on the social internet, these days and nights.
Gaybars disappear often, but not for obvious reasons. The disappearance of gaybars and clubs is an unfortunate side effect of a much more different reason than we expect.
other News of
my real gayfriends
Friendships are needed to not always be alone
to be. Unfortunately, thanks to the use of smartphones and social networks, our friendships are rather virtual. What are our real friends?
Loneliness, difficulties to have contact with other gays and grief. These are often elements that we often find in the gay world.
Many causes can be found in the coming-out period. Coming-out often does not run as we expect. This is normal, everything needs its time.
But many often have many expectations and requirements during their coming out.
We are who we are.
Often it is 'I' thinking that everything will go wrong.
We give or think that we give a bad self-image to others. Generally we ignore signals from others and are very selective in the choice we make.
We have become much more careful after our comming-out and build walls around us.
Being careful sometimes is necessary because there are many donkeys and fakers in the area.
But we must not make everyone bad, we have to understand what happens and
courage to have contacts.
And this with everyone, whether it is your type or not. Friendships are not relationships.
We can not force relationships or friendships. Everything must be done spontaneously
and we can never have many expectations. Go ahead and free yourself.
You can never reject someone, of course outside the donkeys, but you have to put energy and have patience to make the right contacts.
Learn from the experiences of others.
<img src = "https://www.gaybars.eu/img6/2018-01-16_friends.jpg" />
For the first time, go away from social networks.
These are often not social enough to look for friends. You can have a lot of friends or 'likes', but these are . Dating apps are to date and make intimate contacts, not to seek friendships.
�Go to gay bars better and look for peace
and conviviality. Do not be selective and look around how other gays interact.
Look and learn from their experiences and make friendships.
If you then have your first friends, it is more important to keep them. We are in a community that supports each other and you in the future
also as a family. Stop contacting message services with each other.
Not with messages from 'hey' or 'how are you', but ask direct questions: 'Are you at that party too?' 'Have you seen that new movie?' "Do you want to have a drink later?" .
It is important that you get to know each other.
Go to a birthday party, go to the cinema or drink something.
Loneliness must be avoided.
Friendships are there to have, but certainly not to abuse.
There are a few rules about friendships:
'Never require anything or make heavy demands',
'Keep to your meeting appointments',
'give each other space' and 'be honest'.
And the most important rule too:
"By the way, friends never lend money to each other." So when someone asks to borrow money, say 'no'. This is not to say that you pay a liquor bill once. But never borrowing real money.
Gay-Night-at-the-Zoo
A highlight of the summer season is the charming and unique GAY NIGHT AT THE ZOO. In the midst of elephants, tigers and penguins is sung, swung, casually danced and celebrated.